Last week, I accompanied my husband to attend ASD diagnostic clinic. It was almost one year since referral was made by GP. There were many questionnaire posted prior to the assessment which both filled in. The assessment took entire 3 hours slot which went by so quickly wiliest so much to discuss. Then the assessor asked us to to visit him in a couple of days.
The ASD diagnose comes with 3 different levels (another new information!); the assessor said it is between 1 and 2. Normally, the result of assessment will be documented with recommendations of support / treatment and posted. But the assessor wished to pass his decision by his supervisor because my husband has been getting medical support for his psychiatric conditions and it took a long time to be identified (40+ years!!) – he added, this process might take a few months (I was thinking ‘that is okay, as we waited this moment so long, additional waiting is nothing’). At this point, we both were feeling relieved so that the assessor’s next comment surprised me. “What do you think if I refer you to ADHD diagnostic clinic?”; my husband was not hesitated at all to say “It is interesting to know, yes please”. In my mind ‘What more to find out really?’, I felt like being hit by a brick but without feeling anything; a huge hole opened up in my head…Also I felt so sad but no tears come out. I tried to concentrate returning to home safe and quickly.
Since then…there are meltdowns and panic episode happening numerous times. It took over 40 years – it is totally understandable about what we have been through over the past years as well as my husband’s broken mind. But for me, it has been a painful experience of seeing him so ill…I believe the best way to cope is to educate ourselves and meet other people who are in a similar situations – as much as possible, we are continuously learning how to cope. But it is certainly a tough journey as I feel there is no end (my husband is the one suffering the most though). I am telling myself that I have nearly 20 years experience of being Mental Health Carer, I feel less isolated sine I have a good network with other carers and professionals, there are some manageable days so ‘I will be okay!’.
I will try writing about why we decided to get ASD assessment on a separate post in the near future.
Here are some links that might be helpful for you.
Briefly what is going on with me and my husband since Christmas 2017: it was the first time we had a nice Christmas meal with a close friend and her family (many of you know that Christmas can be the worst time of year to go through). Since the break in + facing some intruders (October 2015) clearly caused a relapse but mental health service does not seem taking it seriously enough. Yeah, they allocated some emergency support following the burglary but it lasted about 5 months. Then early 2017, his CPN at the Nurse Led Clinic spoke about discharging him from the secondary care – what a bombardment it was!! Cut the long story short, we complained about her ⇒ he was referred back to another psychiatrist with 6 months waiting ⇒ a new psychiatrist sees him once every 6 month only at the moment. Although, this young new psychiatrist has a heart in a right place, we have not seen any changes with medication or any other services available for him yet though. In February 2018, he resided to seek legal help from a solicitor in regards to his historical abuse which I felt a good and bad idea, although he knew it would not be an easy ride…TO BE CONTINUED
大まかに、2017年のクリスマス以降の出来事を書きますね。家族でお祝いをするクリスマスの時期は毎年、多くの人が苦痛を味わう時期でもあります。小さくても地元に家族がいるダンナもその一人です。幸い、家族ぐるみで親交のある友人の家宅で過ごした2017年のクリスマスは、一番思い出に残る楽しい一日になりました。2015年の空き巣＋不審者に出くわした事件が更にトラウマになり、今まで努力して管理してきた症状を悪化（再発／英語でリラップス・relapse）させたのは明らかなのに、ダンナのケアをしている医療チームは今一親身になって対応してくれていない感がありました（非常に忙しく人材不足なのは分かりますが…）。緊急対応のようなサポートも5カ月ほどでなくなり、鎮静薬を継続するのみ。その後、爆弾を落とされたようなショックを受けたのが、当時の担当医と言うか、ナース・レッド・クリニック（英語：Nurse Led Clinic）と呼ばれる精神科の専門ナースが、「GPのケアへ降格するから（もう専門医の治療が必要ないという意味で）」と言った事。トラウマの初期症状は和らいで来ていたものの、まだ1年も経たない内に全く寝耳に水の出来事でした。言うまでもなく、ダンナは大荒れ状態に…（中略）不服申し立て（苦情と言う意味ではありません）⇒ 精神科医への再紹介で6か月待たされた後、新しい担当医が決まる ⇒ 今のところ、定期健診は6か月毎。この若くて新しい精神科医は、処方箋を変えたりする等の事は未だしませんが、昨今では珍しく患者重視のお医者様のように見受けます。そして、2018年の2月頃だったと思いますが、モラハラ、セクハラや児童虐待の報道に感化されたんでしょうね、ダンナも自分の為に立ち上がると決めて、弁護士選びが始まりました。私は正直、とても複雑な思いで一杯でした。行動を起こすのはポジティブな事で応援してあげたい。でも、ダンナの病気の事を考えると、また一嵐来るなと言ったような感じでした。勿論、本人は重々承知の上でしたが…次回に続きます。